About half of parents admit to using cash or other incentives to get their kids to behave, according to a new study by Vouchercloud. Two-thirds of them have some hesitation about the amount they’re paying, suggesting that most parents feel fairly uncomfortable with this parenting strategy. Like most parenting techniques, though, this one always comes down to the details.
Instead of thinking of paying your child as a process of whine and cave-in, think of it as a negotiation. Work with your child to establish a fair price for work around the house and other positive behavior, and then ensure they see the hard work that goes into picking a new toy or other reward. If money is tight, consider using privileges as a form of currency instead. A child who puts in an hour of extra work around the house might be rewarded with an extra hour before bedtime on a weekend. Whatever you decide, it needs to be in consultation with your child. This will help develop negotiation skills that will help later in life. Another form of payment is “matching funds” toward a purchase goal or savings account. By telling your children you will match money that they save toward a car, a college fund or a retirement fund, you can enlist their help in paying for those things. What’s more, you’ll be teaching older children about the value of saving toward goals. Other parents may employ a matching funds system for part-time jobs. Jerry Verseput, an independent financial adviser, says he matched his daughter’s wages with contributions to a Roth IRA in his daughter’s name. This helped his daughter see both the value of hard work and the joy of saving for the future. Of course, this strategy does assume your children act rationally. When your child is screaming in the supermarket, rational, calm negotiation may be the last thing on your mind. It can be difficult in those moments to stick to your guns and remember the deal you and your child agreed to, but patience is your best friend. Just remember, no one parents perfectly, and any decision you make out of love is best for your children.
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